Life Lessons

Life Wins

Image of a rainy dayIt's a dreary rainy day.
My heart is pounding.
My eyes threaten to spill.
But, it's not the grief this time.
It's about me.
It's about the unknowing.
It's about the chaos I see in the world.
It's about my sense of helplessness.
it's about thinking there must be
Something, I can do.
For me, ranting and raving against
what I see as wrong, doesn't work.

Allowing

I've been absent. I have been struggling with this underlying sadness, and a dark, dreary apathy. It's ironic, because I'm a basically happy person. I laugh a lot and find much in life to love. And yet, this writing has brought out the pain underlying it all. In honesty, I've always known it was there. It hangs like clouds off in the distance, signaling a pending storm. I work hard to keep the storm at bay. Working hard here being a physical statement as well as an emotional one. Go, go, go. Do, do, do.

What's that fear

Does the fear I feel inside myself
have anything to do with you
or is it really about something inside of me
something which colors my view

I'm starting to think I project
these feelings upon your soul.
The truth, is likely more difficult,
I think I own this hole.

So what's the real risk in knowing?
What I'm unwilling to see
when I start to worry and fret?
What's going on in little old me?

My Sacred Journey

initiations
stories told about my conception
lies and deception
a light hidden
a false foundation

mommy goes to school
no daddy to fill the gaps
too many goodbyes and tear streaked cheeks
grandma and grandpa left holding hands

body violated
too young to understand
boundaries ruptured
innocence stolen

finally an adult

family members' attempted suicides
bring fear of loss
inadequacies revealed
powerless to change

Pages