Life Lessons

My Sacred Journey

initiations
stories told about my conception
lies and deception
a light hidden
a false foundation

mommy goes to school
no daddy to fill the gaps
too many goodbyes and tear streaked cheeks
grandma and grandpa left holding hands

body violated
too young to understand
boundaries ruptured
innocence stolen

finally an adult

family members' attempted suicides
bring fear of loss
inadequacies revealed
powerless to change

Poetry
Sexuality
Life Lessons

It keeps visiting

It keeps visiting
That anxious, antsy feeling
Breath held
Chest tight
Jumping out of the skin feeling.
Spinning out of control
No desire to do what's in front of me
Only want to spin
But not spin in a dance or a song
Spin, like a spiral, out of control.

What is this energy that possesses me?
What am I supposed to be doing I don't see?
Where am I supposed to be going I don't know?

Spring Into Action

Several years ago I participated in a personal growth retreat. The retreat consisted of exercises, some in groups and others individually oriented. During one of the group exercises, we were given a map, several tools and told to head out and setup camp when we arrived. The group I was in spent considerable time planning how we were going to arrive at the appropriate location. The other groups were long gone before we finally decided we should quit planning and start moving.

Connections

The energies are swirling around me, pushing me to growth and change. And, I am uncomfortable.

I am taking an herbal class on herbal energetics. The goal is to learn to communicate with plants through our senses, primarily through taste. One of the first lessons is about the need to connect with nature and to be open.

I have also signed up for a two week challenge by Kamana to spend time in nature each day for 15 days giving thanks. Part of this process is about being in a sit spot which is a place to observe and connect in nature.

The Insidious Nature of Anger

I am recovering from a urinary tract infection. While I was reading articles deciding how I wanted to treat the infection, I found several referring to the emotional state of being "pissed off" and how it may be related to the infection. At first I thought I really wasn't angry about anything and moved on to other articles.
But, this morning, all of the anger has surfaced and I wonder which piece or pieces may have contributed to the infection...

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