We are one

Remember me
The one as close as your breath
The one who can soothe and
bring those shoulders down from your ears
I will always love you
I will release the tension in your chest
I will help you sleep
when your eyes will not shut
I will heal your heart
if you will let me work my way through it
Sometimes my ways
may seem painful
but the journey
is always worth it in the end
Come, follow me
down the trail of life
down the trail of your beingness


Bright days

Bright days
Rainy days
But not gray days

I love bright, sunny days
when the sun shines
and the air is heavy with expectation
of the growth all around us
and I can feel life unfurling
and feel the possibilities.

I love rainy days
when the sun is hidden
behind sodden clouds
when the world is being washed clean
the plants are getting a drink
and the birds flit here and there
sometimes playing,
sometimes hiding out
under an overhanging branch.


It keeps visiting

It keeps visiting
That anxious, antsy feeling
Breath held
Chest tight
Jumping out of the skin feeling.
Spinning out of control
No desire to do what's in front of me
Only want to spin
But not spin in a dance or a song
Spin, like a spiral, out of control.

What is this energy that possesses me?
What am I supposed to be doing I don't see?
Where am I supposed to be going I don't know?

Writings from the Dark

I was sexually abused as a small child. I've done years of therapy and would prefer to be done with the whole thing. But, what sexual abuse leaves behind is never really done. It leaves scars on a life. It has left a hint of darkness in mine. It hangs at the edges of my days and shades my world. For the most part, I've learned to ignore it and focus on the good in my life.

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I want you to know
I don't blame you for the dark
things that happened to me
when I was a child.
I don't have any anger towards you.
I have long since accepted
you did the best you knew how at the time.
And, I truly believe
you left not only for your own sanity
but for my safety as well.
I believe some subconscious part of you knew
he was no good for either one of us.
I have come to this place in my life of acceptance
Acceptance of what really happened

Write, Because

Like my life depended on it
My inner thoughts
To record
My learning process
To inspire
To encourage contemplation
A balm for pain
For healing

I have a voice
Writing brings me to life
Without it, I become aimless and angst ridden
Daily writing makes me smile
It listens
It doesn't judge
It touches others
It makes me whole


Edge of the Abyss

I stand at the edge of the abyss.
But it's really only darkness.
If only I could shine a light on this dark,
I might be able to see what's there.

It's the noise in the night that terrified me as a child.
It's the memories I couldn't quite grasp as an adult
That constricted my throat and made it impossible to breath.
It's the things of childhood I couldn't speak of,
The darkness that split my being into pieces.
Some part stayed and she's still lost in the darkness.
The rest turned the other way and moved on.